Seeing Things


12 Nov

Someone once said that schizophrenia is more of a perceptual disorder than a mental illness; schizophrenics see and hear things that are not there. In our own way, I think all of us are limited by our perceptions, not to the extent that a schizophrenic might be, but simply by the fact that we all see things differently. When I paint, I like to give free reign to that difference, and avoid conforming to any particular style or expectation of what a painting is supposed to look like.

At some point in a painting my perception of what looks good on the paper or canvas begins to take over, and I start paying more attention to that than I do to whatever it is I'm actually trying to paint. The painting becomes the subject, and the satisfaction of working on it doesn’t come from whether or not it’s good enough, but whether or not it satisfies something inside of me. It may not look anything like whatever inspired me to start it in the first place, but that is irrelevant. It's not just a painting; it's how I see the world, and what it becomes through my perceptions. A schizophrenic might understand that. 

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